What makes a dream and why is it worth fighting for?

My clients have different, individual hopes and dreams. None is more valid than the other. The value of achievement and success is undeniable in all cases regardless of scale, time commitment, cost (financial and emotional) and tangibility of the outcome.

Who am I to say that overcoming performance anxiety in equine dressage is more or less of a dream than sailing around the world? As a coach and now learning new skills as a CBT counsellor in combination with my knowledge of sport psychology, it is crucial to see value in every achievement from the client’s perspective. I don’t know anything about showjumping or sailing, other than what I’ve learned from my clients, however I do know how daunting it is to not know how to do something or to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of a task or challenge. And I don’t want to do the things my clients do. Empathy is crucial to engaging with my clients, their dreams, hopes and aspirations. I don’t choose clients, I am not jealous of them, nor do I discriminate against them or judge them for their choices. They choose me.

As an athlete or sportsperson think about what it is that drives you towards your dream or goal. The nature of an event or competition brings out your desire to be part of something (acceptance), succeed (be seen, validation) and be valued (loved and supported). Let’s look at that, you enter a competition. Why does it matter to you? What is it about being part of that competition that you find appealing, or satisfying, meaningful or challenging? There are many reasons, the most important one is the one that matters to you.

Next, you want to understand the challenge. This is always a contrary aspect of building your dream; it is new, and you haven’t done it before, how are you meant to understand it?

1. Bring on the training and practice. Learn from your mistakes and become competent, skilful, knowledgeable and more understanding about what lies ahead.

2. Call in the cavalry. Whether you are naturally shy or lacking in confidence or extroverted and full of confidence, your team and support mechanisms are vital to your success. Buy in from those around you begins with you. Sharing your dreams and talking about what you hope to achieve can be immensely powerful. A word at a training session overheard in conversation can lead to offers of support and practical, valuable experiential insights. Typical team members might be training buddies and club mates, coach and counsellor i.e.,The Sports Counsel, family and friends, physio, nutritionist, masseuse….

3. Plan. Again, you don’t have to be a spreadsheet guru to make a great plan. If you’ve called in the cavalry (see above), you may be able to ask someone to help you with this. Your plan can be drawn up online, on a whiteboard, in diaries, on bits of paper that you store and organise in a way that makes sense to you. Make good use of the skills that others bring and learn to ask for help.

4. Review what you’ve done so far. It’s important to review the work you’ve done towards reaching your progress (mid-way) goals. Being realistic with yourself about where you are in your plan is beneficial for several reasons; you can ‘up your game’ if you feel you are a bit behind, you can adjust your goal if you see you won’t achieve it in the planned timescale, you can avoid disappointment by accepting you aren’t ready yet, you can learn more and feel better prepared.

5. Execute. When the whistle is blown, or start line reached the care, commitment and drive you’ve taken to prepare, the training you’ve completed, disasters you’ve had, team you’ve built around you are what make your dream. Without dreamers and believers like you, the world would be less.

To give you some idea of the dreams my clients hold and I have the pleasure of working with, here is a very incomplete list of a few of their goals (in no particular order).

Run the length of Wales; The Dragon’s Back Race, Race across Scotland; Rat Race Coast to Coast, Run 10km, Run 5km, Swim 10km, Swim 5km, Ride the Tour de France route, Overcome performance jitters in equine dressage, Complete an Ironman event, Complete Celtman Solo point five, Swim the Channel, Swim Loch Lomond, Sail around the world, Race for my country and home, Build confidence to complete walks, rides and runs on my own, Ride faster, Compete in the Cape Wrath Ultra, Compete in my first triathlon, Riding across Europe; The Transcontinental…