How does your life script influence your sports performance and are you in control of changing the outcomes?

Following a meeting with a client the topic of inclusion and exclusion was raised. Whilst the link may not be immediately obvious, whether or not you feel you belong or accepted might be explained by considering your life script. Eric Berne defined a life script as follows, “an unconscious life plan made in childhood, reinforced by parents, justified by subsequent events and culminating in a chosen alternative.” Does your life script go some way to explaining how you behave in sport? You might consider these questions in general and then you might consider them again in a sport specific context;

Who am I? Who are these other people? What am I doing here? What happens to people like me?

The questions above are big. I’ll have a go at reviewing my own life script..

Who am I? Vicky Begg, woman, daughter, wife, sister, triathlete (past), social cyclist, runner swimmer (present), textile designer and printer, cat owner

Who are these other people? Parents/extended family, husband, sister, friends, workmates, cats

What am I doing here? Trying to make other people and myself happy (or at least not unhappy), trying to do things well or be ‘good’ and accomplished at things, hoping to be liked and having fun with my sport, trying to be professional in work.

What happens to people like me? I am recognised as a good daughter, wife, sister, friend, I feel part of my family, I feel welcomed by friends and others, I can keep a stable job, I can join in with anything I want in terms of my sport (within the realms of what I can afford!!) and most of all I can have a happy life.

There are deeper themes that might be investigated here. How did I come to believe in myself enough to try triathlon over 30 years ago? My parents did not participate in the sport. However, their support and encouragement meant that I did not question my ability to participate and become a part of a community that I knew nothing about. I felt included, I belonged, I was and am part of that community. How did or does my life script influence my performance in sport? Might I have been a different athlete or participant if my answers to the life script questions had been different? Possibly and probably, yes. Let’s consider a very different set of answers from a fictitious person

Who am I? J.P. Greene, transitioning woman to man, child, sibling, county cricketer, student, recovering alcoholic

Who are these other people? Family, medical team and counsellors, cricket team mates, university friends, AA group mentors

What am I doing here? Trying to work out who I am, trying not to upset everyone, trying to stay on the cricket team, struggling to stay on top of emotions and finish university studies

What happens to people like me? People don’t understand me, I undergo physical changes, I feel excluded or marginalised, I loose my spot on the cricket team, I turn to alcohol when times are tough, I find a new way of being in the transgender cricket team that I establish

This second set of answers represents a fictitious person. I hope this illustrates how your way of being and beliefs in yourself can be (a) difficult to challenge in light of self and other’s expectations and (b) changed for the better if you are willing to make that challenge thus “culminating in a chosen alternative.”