Setting yourself apart from everyone else isn’t easy. We are educated in groups, we often train and work in groups or teams and we (mostly) live in families. Even the most independent or isolated individuals rely on others; we give and take. Acts of giving, generosity and helping others are highly regarded in society, so what happens when you oppose this deep seated belief and do what is right for you? Can you work out what it is that YOU need from the group, team or family setting that will improve your performance. Or is there something that is detracting from your performance? Can you change your behaviour without it seeming like a betrayal of your usual self? Perhaps you need to stand up to your usual self and be more ruthless?

The idea that being ruthless is about an aggressive, single minded, winner takes all attitude isn’t entirely true. You don’t have to be unkind or rude. Your version of being ruthless might be to not offer your friend that lift home after your swimming session that adds an extra half hour onto your journey time, “It’s only half an hour. Of course I don’t mind.” Instead, take that half hour to yourself, get home before 8 30pm and make yourself something fresh to eat, sit down and enjoy it.

How might this help your performance? For starters, you’ve made yourself something nutritious to eat. You’ve likely eaten it earlier than you would usually. You can sit down for half an hour after it and or go to bed half an hour earlier.

If you suffer pangs of guilt about your friend not getting their usual lift home, explain to them that you have noticed how tired you are after the session. Check with them that they were able to make other arrangements and leave it at that. Still feeling guilty? Find someone to drop off or pick up en route to the swimming session that doesn’t add time to your journey.